Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Today is my last day of work for 2010! I will be spending the next few days wrapping presents, baking cookies, and doing anything else that I can to get my mind off of the 2 WW. According to my nurse, I should be able to take an HPT on New Year’s Eve…. So I will be either celebrating without alcohol, or celebrating that this terrible year is over WITH alcohol…. We will see! Last cycle, I had some major breast/nipple soreness after the Ovidrel injection but not this time. I’m not even having any side effects from the Prometrium. Hopefully that’s not a bad sign!
Since my last post, I have done a great deal of research on MTHFR in relation to recurrent pregnancy loss. For the most part it seems to be very treatable and taking a baby aspirin as well as a special prenatal vitamin (I’m taking Neevo) seems to help almost everyone with this condition. But I’ve also read that having 2 “C” copies of this mutation (like I do) is also the most severe. Almost everyone that I have read about with the 2 “C” copies is on an injectable blood thinner such as Lovenox in addition to the BA and special prenatal. So I am a little concerned since my nurse said that I definitely wouldn’t need something like that.
I called her this morning and she told me that she would feel more comfortable having the doctor answer my questions so she is going to have her call me within the next day or so. Honestly, I will be fine if she tells me that I don’t need the Lovenox. I definitely trust them… I just need some reassurance. I want to do whatever it takes to not only get pregnant, but stay pregnant. If that means daily injections throughout a pregnancy, so be it. I just want them to explain to me why I wouldn’t need them.
I also asked my nurse about the possibility of moving on to 100 mg of Clomid for my next cycle if this one is unsuccessful. She said that the doctor will let me know if that’s something that I should plan for when she calls me. I need to make sure I have a list of questions written down for her!
So that’s about it! Nothing too exciting to report.
If I don’t get a chance to post before, I hope everyone has a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS! :)
Thursday, December 16, 2010
I will start with the good news…. My follicle is at 20.1 mm! YAY! So I will be triggering tonight! Definitely didn’t see this coming as I thought we would have to cancel this cycle…so I’m super excited! My nurse told me that my LH levels went WAY up... so my my hubby and I will be busy little bees for the next few days… :)
Now for the not so good news… When my nurse called me to give me my results for today she said that she also had the results of my RPL blood work. I tested positive for (please forgive me if I’m not stating this correctly) 2 “C” copies for MTHFR. I don’t know much about this except that I know it is some sort of clotting disorder which is sometimes treated by blood thinners. She said that I have a “good” kind (if that’s possible) where I wouldn’t need injections of blood thinners but that I could just take a daily 81 mg of aspirin. I started taking that when I started the Clomid (I heard that baby aspirin also can help with any lining issues) so she said that was good and to continue to take it. She said the other important thing that I will need to do is take a special prenatal vitamin with extra folic acid and vitamins B6 and B12. Apparently the MTHFR affects my body’s ability to absorb the folic acid and these B vitamins… So I am going to go pick up the prescription tonight.
Again, I have not had a chance to do much research on this so I’m only going by what my nurse has told me so far. She said that this is very common and very treatable so I’m hopeful. I’m SO glad that I insisted to go ahead with the testing because at least now I know that there really was an issue. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that the vitamins will help correct the problem.
If anyone out there in blog land has any advice or information for me I would love to hear it!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
...Because yesterday morning, I went in for my monitoring appointment fully expecting to be told that we are canceling this cycle. Instead, my right ovary surprised me by producing at 13.3 mm follicle! I was shocked because I didn’t have any follicles bigger than 9 mm on Friday morning.
Anyway… I left the appointment in a pretty good mood… but I wasn’t getting my hopes up because I needed to get the results of my blood work to make sure things were moving in the right direction.
So my nurse calls me later on and said that my estrogen went up significantly since Friday morning and things were moving along just as they should be. She also said that my doctor reviewed my results and wanted me to come in the very next morning for another blood work and ultrasound. I didn’t expect that. Normally I get at least a little break in between appointments. When I asked her why I had to come back so soon, she said that the Doctor thinks that (based on my blood work) things are going to start moving along very quickly. Even though I HATE getting up at the crack of dawn when it’s FREEZING outside and driving all of that way for a 10 minute appointment, I appreciate the fact that my doctor is monitoring me so closely. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m doing all of this for a reason and that it will all pay off someday!
So… after a relaxing evening at Acupuncture and a good night’s sleep, I went in AGAIN bright and early this morning for another ultrasound and blood work. When I went in for my ultrasound, even the sonographer was surprised to see me back so soon. I know follicles typically grow 1-2 mm per day so I was expecting her to tell me it was 14 or (at the most) 15 today. But it’s at 16.5 mm! She said, “Wow, you really are moving right along. You’ll probably be back tomorrow and by then you’ll probably be ready to trigger.”
So I really hope that’s the case! I’m still waiting for a call from my nurse with my blood work results from this morning and I guess she will tell me if I need to come back tomorrow or not.
I’m still really surprised that we are able to move forward with this cycle. I thought for sure that I didn’t respond at all. I know it’s pretty late (I’m on CD 19 today!) but I’m praying that things continue to go well and that this follicle will release a healthy, mature, and fertilizable egg. Please keep your fingers crossed for me!
Now I feel a little bad for calling my ovaries “total jerks” on my last post.
Friday, December 10, 2010
…Because they are refusing to produce a follicle of a respectable size.
Also on today’s agenda…. My husband wants to do IVF.
But let’s start with this morning’s monitoring appointment, shall we?
It sucked. That’s really the only way I can describe it. Mark came with me this morning to the appointment and it was crazy busy. They took me back right away to an ultrasound room and then I guess they forgot about me. Thankfully, Mark came back with me and kept me distracted by making fun of the bruise on my foot and accidentally ripping the giant napkin while putting it over the naked, lower half of my body. Fun, fun times.
Finally my least favorite sonographer (I think that’s the right word for them?) came in to do the ultra sound of doom. It’s not that I don’t like her… it’s just that she is my least favorite because she doesn’t say very much. Anyway… She started out with some with positive news…she said, “Your lining looks great!”. Okay… good news… let’s move on to my ovaries now please. She looked at them both and said… “You aren’t ready yet… they are still small.” Yup. Once again, I have no follicles over 10 mm. And what’s with this, “You aren’t ready, YET?” Um, lady, I’m on CD 15… do you seriously expect me to believe that one of these follies is going to grow nice and big overnight? Just tell me that I’m not going to ovulate this month, mmmkay??
After my fun and exciting ultrasound, Mark and I headed back into the waiting room for another 25 minutes while we waited for me to get my blood drawn. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I just wanted to get out of there. I feel like I just keep wasting time, gas, and co-pays because my body refuses to cooperate.
Now on to our exciting conversation on the way home…
After we left, Mark and I were both very frustrated. I know that this is only my second cycle at the fertility clinic but I have been off of birth control for over two years now. I am sick of it… Sick of waiting. Mark feels the same way and tells me all of the time that he hates watching me go through all of this.
So on the way to work after our appointment (we both work in the same building) he says to me, “Let’s do IVF.” Whoa. I didn’t know if he realized this or not but I’m on the lowest dosage of medication … there are lots more things that we can try before we decide to do the mother of all fertility treatments. He said that he knew all of that but he doesn’t want to wait anymore because he isn’t getting any younger and he knows how hard this has been on me. He promised that he would leave it up to me and that if I wanted to try different med dosages first that he would support my decision.
I hate waiting too. It sucks. And I definitely don’t want to go through cycle after cycle of timed intercourse with ovaries that won’t cooperate. But… I may just need a higher dosage of Clomid. Or Injectables. I just don’t know yet. And I don’t know that I’m ready to move onto IVF when there are some other things that we can try.
So I told him that I’ve decided to give Timed Intercourse a few more tries. Maybe try some higher dosages of meds. But if more than a few cycles pass with no response (or another pregnancy loss) then I won’t hesitate to move onto IVF. I’m tired of waiting and I know my hubby is too. I know that IVF doesn’t guarantee us a pregnancy or even a baby but I think that our chances would be a heck of a lot better.
Anyway…..when my nurse called me this afternoon with the blood workresults, she said that my estrogen only went up a little and that they are expecting that we will need to cancel this cycle (NO KIDDING). BUT… they are making me come in AGAIN on MONDAY for another monitoring appointment (UGH!) to make SURE that I truly am having no response this time to 50 mg of Clomid. If that is indeed the case, they will give me Provera to jump start my period (I’ve never had to take this before but she said it’s to help to move things along a little faster) and then I get to bump up to 100 mg of Clomid.
So, over all, I feel okay about it. I’m NOT happy that for some reason my ovaries decided to be total jerks and not respond this month but I’m excited that we get to try something a little different next time around.
And the best part of it all? No gross progesterone suppositories over my Christmas vacation!
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
I have…. (drumroll please…) ZERO dominant follicles! All are at 10 mm or less. UGH!!!!!! By this time last month I had a 16 mm dominant follicle. When the ultrasound tech told me the news I was really upset. I could have just stayed in bed instead of getting up at 5:00 am and driving there for nothing!
So I got to work and was upset all morning. And I had an evil cup of coffee (which was delicious).
But my nurse just called… and she made me feel so much better as always! She said that even though I don’t have a dominant follicle just yet, my lining is starting to thicken up and my blood work shows that my estrogen levels are rising nicely. She said that she is not concerned at all and that everything seems to be moving in the right direction. I explained that I was worried because by this time last cycle I had a 16 mm follie but she said that cycles can vary and that I’m more than likely just going to ovulate later this cycle. She wants me to come back Friday morning to see how things are going.
So, I feel a little bit better. I always do after talking to her! I’m just going to try my best to relax and pray that I will get good results on Friday. I guess maybe things could be off too because of the chemical pregnancy that I just had? I don't know... I forgot to ask her about that. But we'll see what happens I guess...
I've also decided that I’m going to dust off my Wii balance board tonight to do some Yoga on Wii Fit Plus. We’ll see how it goes… I just hope I don’t get bored with the yoga and decide to bounce some soccer balls off of my head or do some crazy hula hooping! :) If you’ve ever played Wii Fit you know what I’m talking about! :)
Monday, December 6, 2010
Today is CD 11 and tomorrow I will go in for a follicle check. I don’t know why but I’m nervous! I had absolutely no side effects from the Clomid this cycle and I’m hoping that it doesn’t mean that it’s not working. We will see how it goes… Hopefully there will be one or two follies growing nicely! I have an acupuncture appointment tonight (which I'm really excited for!) so hopefully it will help me relax.
In other news, we took pictures for our Christmas cards this past weekend! I am a total procrastinator and didn’t book with a photographer so we ended up taking them ourselves. They turned out okay I guess… I think it would have been easier with a photographer who knew how to make the dogs look at the camera!
Here are a few...
Me and the Hubs with our pups – Mark is holding Sophie and I'm holding Josie:
Our whole family – Not sure if I’ve mentioned it before but I have a 14 year old stepson, Evan, who lives with us full time. Most people think that he’s my little brother when they first see us together which is fine by me! I’m only 25 so I’m way too young to be his mother!
Well that’s about it! Sorry for the incredibly boring post… :) Happy Monday!
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
When my nurse called me to tell me that my latest pregnancy was not viable, I immediately asked her about the possibility of further testing. She said that she didn’t think it was necessary since I’ve “only had one real loss”. I guess she doesn’t count chemical pregnancies as a “true” miscarriage but to me, it was a very real loss... just as real as the one I experienced in April. Don’t get me wrong, I really do trust my nurse (and she is VERY nice) but I felt strongly about going ahead with testing BEFORE we experience another loss. She told me that she would email my doctor and get back with me.
Yesterday she called and said that the doctor agreed that if I wanted to, I should move forward with blood work and that they will order the full RPL panel. I’m really happy about this. I know that many people experience miscarriages and that chemical pregnancies can be common – but I just think it will make me feel better.So on Saturday morning, after fasting the night before for at least 12 hours, I will go in for my blood work. It takes about 2 weeks to get the results so I will be hoping that all is well....
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Last night was my first acupuncture session. I made the appointment thinking, “Well, we’ll see how it goes. I’m not sure if I will continue with it or not…” Well, I loved it.
I had a crazy day at work yesterday and I was super busy. I’m prone to migraines and by the end of the day my head was pounding. I decided not to take any medication for it because I had heard that acupuncture can help relieve headache pain pretty quickly.
When I went in for my appointment, I sat down with the acupuncturist and we went over everything that had been going on with my infertility. I told her about the miscarriage in April and the chemical pregnancy that I had just had. While she was looking over my paperwork, I admired a huge bulletin board she has in her office with pictures of babies that her former patients had sent in. She explained that she had helped many women with the exact same problems as I have get pregnant and STAY pregnant.
When she was ready to begin the acupuncture she had me get up on a table and lie down on my back while she took my pulse. I expected her to put needles around my belly button but she said that she won’t do that for the first session. Instead, she put needles in my wrist area and in my feet. The only one that hurt a little was one in my little toe (ouch!). I then told her that I had a really bad headache so she put needles all over my head! I expected them to hurt a lot but I didn’t even feel them.
After she was finished putting in the needles, she told me to relax and that she would come back. I expected to fall asleep but I didn’t even though I was VERY relaxed. I didn’t feel any different except that I could feel some of the pressure in my head going away.
By the time she came back to take the needles out, my head definitely did feel better but I still had some pain. She told me to go home and relax and that it should go away on its own.
I went home and had dinner and by the time I was finished my headache was completely gone! Normally, when I get a migraine I will have to take several ibuprofen and will have to go to sleep to make it go away. I really wasn’t expecting it to work so well.
Obviously I’m not going to an acupuncturist for headaches but it was nice to be able to feel something after just one session. I have been researching acupuncture for many months and I know a few people personally who have had great success with it while going fertility treatments. I hope to have success with it too! If nothing else, it is very relaxing and I think anyone going through fertility treatments could use a little relaxation. :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday morning, I was supposed to go in for blood work. I didn’t. What was the point? I knew what was happening. My breasts were starting to not feel as sore anymore and I just knew that my levels were going down instead of up. I just wanted to wait until I started bleeding to go back into the office.
So I went home from work early on Wednesday and decided that I would start cooking. So that’s what I did… I cooked all Wednesday evening and then got up on Thursday morning and cooked some more. My Thanksgiving meal turned out perfectly. The turkey was beautiful. My wonderful husband even got the wishbone from last year and we made a wish. I hope both of our wishes come true. I’m not trying to be greedy, because I am very thankful for the family and friends that I have, I just wish that I had a little more to be thankful for this year.
On Friday morning I got up and was excited to go shopping… instead I realized that I had started bleeding (very heavily) and had major cramping. I told Mark what happened and said that I was going back to bed for a little while and that we could go shopping later. I had expected this. I knew that it probably wouldn’t hurt as much or that I would bleed as much as I did with my miscarriage in April but it was bad. It was very painful and I almost decided to just stay home. But I didn’t. My dad came over and the three of us went shopping! I ended up having a good time and was glad that I went. We also put up our Christmas tree on Friday! This is always an exciting event for me. I love getting out all of my ornaments and decorations while watching Christmas movies. It’s the best tradition ever. Even though I’m probably the least excited for the holidays that I have ever been, I couldn’t help but have a good time.
Saturday was more of a lazy day. We stayed home and watched movies for most of the day and then went out to dinner and did some more shopping.
Sunday morning we had to get up early to go for my Day 3 blood work and ultra sound at my RE’s main office (since they are open on weekends) which is about an hour and a half away. We ended up getting there early and they took me back right away. After we left, we went to an awesome mall which is near that office and did MORE shopping! I’m so grateful for a husband who enjoys shopping almost as much as I do! We had a great time and then went home to watch football for the rest of the day.
The RE’s office called me later on Sunday and told me that my blood work and ultrasound looked normal and that I could start my Clomid that night. So here we go again. I am praying that this cycle ends with a positive pregnancy test AND a healthy pregnancy/baby!
Monday, November 22, 2010
So yesterday was 14 DPO. I woke up, told Mark that I was 95% sure that I was not pregnant but that I wanted him to go get me a pregnancy test so I could make sure it was safe to stop taking my Prometrium.
So off he went. In the mean time, I stayed home and made a yummy breakfast for us of French Toast and sausage.
A little while later, after I had held my urine for a respectable amount of time, I announced to Mark that I was going to go take one of my two pregnancy tests that he had brought home for me. I told him that even though it would be negative, at LEAST I could take a break from the gross progesterone suppositories for a while!
Then…. I went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. And IT WAS POSITIVE. I started shaking and I yelled for Mark. He was like, “There are two lines! I thought you said it was going to be negative!” We both couldn’t believe it. I had been so sure that I was not pregnant based on how I felt. I told him that I would go to the RE’s office the next day to get a blood test.
The rest of the day, I tried not to get excited. I had absolutely NO desire to tell ANYONE but I couldn’t stop staring at the test. I kept thinking, “Could this be it?”… “PLEASE, PLEASE let this one stick!!”.
I hardly slept last night. I woke up every few hours. I finally got up at 4:30 and peed on another stick… it was positive but it was LIGHTER than yesterdays. I started feeling sick to my stomach and I’ve felt that way the rest of the morning. I have a terrible feeling that my beta is going to be horribly low.
I’m REALLY trying to think positive but I just don’t see a reason for my test this morning to be LIGHTER than yesterday’s test especially when I tested this morning with FMU.
All I can do is wait for my nurse to call me with the results. This REALLY sucks. I would have felt so much better if the test was NEGATIVE. I don’t feel like hearing my nurse say something like, “Well, you’re numbers aren’t high enough for this to be a viable pregnancy.”
Regardless of how I feel, I will be praying for good news ….
Friday, November 19, 2010
This 2 WW is starting to get really annoying. I have no pregnancy tests in my house as I initially wanted to wait until 14 dpo to test. Now that I’m getting closer and closer, I’m just ready to get it over with because I’m so sure that it’s going to be negative. We are supposed to go out to dinner tomorrow night so I’m going to pick up an HPT and I’ll probably test when we get home. If it is indeed negative, then I will (gladly!) stop taking my prometrium and wait to get my period. I’m just glad that the wait is almost over… I’m so ready to move on.
This weekend should be pretty busy for us at least…. My dad is running his 11th JFK 50 Mile race on Saturday. He loves it… it’s like Christmas to him every year. To Mark and I, it’s like Black Friday for those in the retail profession. We have to get up at like 3:30 in the morning and drive him to the starting line (he starts at 5:00 am). Then we follow him around all day long meeting him at various stops along the way giving him Power gels, Gatoraide, or other things he may need. Don’t get me wrong… I am very proud of him every year for keeping in such great shape and running such a long distance… but it’s just a very long, boring day for Mark and me. I guess it will give me a chance to catch up on some reading!
Happy Friday everyone… Hope you all have a GREAT weekend! :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I’m not sure that I’m going to make it to POAS on Sunday without AF showing up first. I woke up this morning with some cramping and I was certain that when I went to the bathroom that she would be there. Thankfully so far, she has stayed away. I’m about 90% sure, however, that even if I don’t get my period before Sunday that I’m going to see a BFN when I test. I just feel like I’m going to get my period. I’m bloated and the cramps feel just like mild AF cramps. I know it’s not over yet but I’m definitely preparing myself and I’m already thinking about the next cycle.
Even though I’m having doubts about the success of this cycle, I’ve been in a really good mood these past few days because…. Thanksgiving is next week! I am cooking this year for some of our family and I’m super excited! I love to cook and I love the challenge of making a huge Thanksgiving feast all by myself. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I love the food and time with family and then I get to put up my Christmas decorations the day after! It’s a tradition. I love to put up the tree and watch all of my favorite Christmas movies. I look forward to it every year.
I also had a great meeting with the acupuncturist on Monday night! I went with my Dad to his session and it looks super relaxing. I’m definitely excited to try it. I asked her some questions and she recommended that I take a break from the fertility meds and just use herbs with acupuncture. I am definitely not ready for that. I explained to her that I trust my fertility clinic and that for now, I am going to stay on the medication that my doctor recommends but that I would like to start trying just the acupuncture. She was really nice about it and we made an appointment for Monday, Nov. 29th (she’s really booked up). I’m really looking forward to it! I know of two people personally who had struggled with infertility and never had success until they started using acupuncture in addition to their other treatments. My doctor also highly recommends it. So we will see! It definitely gives me something to look forward to!
Monday, November 15, 2010
My boobs are KILLING ME. Like all day, every day to the point where I can no longer sleep on my stomach. All I’ve been thinking about at work today is how I cannot wait to get home and take off my bra.
Unfortunately, breast “tenderness” is one of the most common side effects of prometrium. So as much as I’d like to think that it is my body’s way of saying, “You are pregnant! Congratulations!!”….it most definitely does not count as a pregnancy symptom. Otherwise, I would have already peed on a stick. It is really messing with my mind though… especially since I feel GREAT otherwise. I wish I could say that I spent my weekend puking up everything I ate, peeing every 5 minutes, and sleeping all day long... but I didn’t. I guess I’ve been a little tired lately but that’s about it.
I haven’t completely given up hope but I’m DREADING testing day. I’m thinking that I will probably test on Saturday evening or Sunday morning…. I haven’t decided yet. I will definitely be testing at some point over the weekend so that I can call my RE’s office first thing on Monday morning. If the test is positive (please, please, PLEASE!) then GREAT! Let’s schedule some blood work! If it’s negative, I will most likely be sad for a little while but I will be ready to get started with the next cycle. So we will see.
In other news, I’m meeting with an acupuncturist tonight! My dad is a marathon runner (he has a 50 miler coming up this Saturday!) and he goes regularly and LOVES it. He talked with his acupuncturist last week about my “situation” and she gave him some really interesting paperwork to give me on “Acupuncture and Infertility.” So I’m going to meet with her tonight to ask her some questions. I really do think that it is something that I would like to try for my next cycle if I get a BFN next weekend.
That’s about it! Happy Monday!
Friday, November 12, 2010
As much as I day dream about pregnancy and babies, you would think that I would dream about pregnancy and babies at night too…. But I don’t… Well not very often.
I usually have crazy, weird dreams. And they are most always about high school. I went to a very small, private school (which I absolutely LOVED) and I grew up with everyone in my class from Kindergarten to 12thgrade. We were all very close growing up even though most of us have grown apart since graduation. It seems every time I dream about anything it’s about someone from that time in my life.
But last night was different. I had the most amazingly perfect dream. I had a dream that I was pregnant… pretty early on and that I was getting my first ultrasound. And I saw a beautiful heart beat on the screen. It felt so real! I was by myself at the ultrasound and then I went home to Mark (I don’t know why he wasn’t with me at the ultrasound) and I was trying to describe how beautiful it was…. And then I woke up! I was a little sad that it was just a dream but at the same time… it made me excited. I have been pregnant before but I never got to see a beautiful, beating heart on an ultrasound screen. It’s a moment that I’ve always looked forward to. I can’t imagine what it must feel like.
Cinderella says that a “dream is a wish that your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.” ….. I just hope this dream/wish comes true soon!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Based on when the hubby gave me the Ovidrel injection, I would have ovulated sometime very early Sunday morning… which would put me at 4 dpo today. And I am feeling…. COMPLETELY NORMAL. After the Ovidrel shot, my nipples started feeling really, really sore but I know that was from the HCG. It started to go away a few days ago but they are starting to feel pretty sore again – for which I’m blaming the prometrium suppositories (have I mentioned that they are extremely gross??). I’ve also had very mild cramping as of this morning but I’m not really considering that a symptom of anything.
I keep trying to think back to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant the first time…
It was March and I wasn’t thinking about anything during that 2ww except for our first consultation with my RE. We had sex a total of maybe 2 times that month so in my mind, pregnancy wasn’t even a possibility. After we met with the RE, I remember telling Mark that I hoped my period came soon so that I could start my Day 3 testing (I was due for AF about 4 days after our appointment).
2 days after our appointment, I noticed that my breasts were a little sore and they kept getting worse and worse until my period was finally late.
Now, I hate peeing on sticks. I HATE it. I don’t ever do it unless my period is really late because I HATE seeing only one line. But I finally gave in this time because my breasts are NEVER sore. Ever. Not even before my period is due. It was my only symptom until after I got my BFP.
Now I know all pregnancies are different … blah, blah, blah. Plus that pregnancy sadly ended in a miscarriage so I’m not sure I should be comparing any of the symptoms to any subsequent pregnancies. BUT…. if I don’t feel any different next week, then I really don’t want to test until my period is late. I hate seeing a negative HPT more than I hate the arrival of AF.
I know this sounds crazy because many people can’t wait to POAS. Why not me too? This is the first real treatment cycle we have ever done and I should be excited! But today, I’m just not feeling so optimistic about it.
I’m so sorry that this is such a “Debbie Downer” post…. This is just how I’m feeling at the moment. And it feels good to get these feelings out…. Just another reason that I’m glad I started this blog.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Here are some of the pictures from the “Puppy Photo Shoot” we took Sophie and Josie to this weekend…. They had a blast!
Mark and I with the pups! We weren't expecting to be in any of the pictures ... if we would have known we would have dressed a little nicer! :)
I love Sophie's face in this picture! She was not too happy.... :)
Happy Tuesday! :)
Monday, November 8, 2010
Let me just say that I’m glad ovulation happened over the weekend. Because I am exhausted! At first I thought, “Have sex 4 times in 3 days? No problem! We used to have sex 4 times a day when we first got together!” Well folks, that was a long time ago. But I’m not complaining … because it WAS fun… just a little tiring towards the end of the weekend. I think my legs are just glad that they haven’t been up in the air yet today!
I also started my progesterone suppositories this morning. The only thing I have to say about that is, “Thank God for panty liners.” Gross.
I must say that the Ovidrel shot was a piece of cake. Mark gave me the shot at 6:00 on Friday evening and I barely felt it. I have noticed that my nipples are very sore but I’m sure that will go away as the HCG wears off.
The other exciting thing we did this weekend (besides hopefully making a baby!) is we took our dogs to a photo shoot! A photographer that we met through a mutual friend wanted to take pictures of dogs for her website so Sophie and Josie got to be models for the day! I saw a few of the pictures and they turned out really cute… I will post some of them as soon as I get them. All of that picture taking had me daydreaming about maternity and newborn photo shoots….
Anyway…here’s to the beginning of the two week wait…. Let’s hope that it goes by quickly and ends with a BFP!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Yes, it true – My hubby gets to give me the “trigger” shot of Ovidrel tonight! On CD 14!
Okay, so this morning, I went in bright and early and couldn’t wait to see how my cute little follie was doing. The ultrasound tech inserted the “dildo cam” and she showed it to me right away and said that she would measure it. I was praying the whole time for 20 mm. Then she said, “It’s at 18.5”. So… I asked her what that meant (the RE wasn’t there today) and she said “Well, you’ll more than likely have to come back tomorrow for monitoring because we like to see them at 20 mm, but your nurse will call you back later for more details.”
Ugh. Have I mentioned that I’m not a big fan of waiting around for information like this? Anyway… on to the good part. My nurse, Betsy (I love, love, LOVE her) just called me! She said, “Hey Andrea! You are triggering tonight!” I was like, “I am?? Is that okay? My follicle was only at 18.5!” She said that while they like to see 20 mm or greater, anything over 18 is considered mature. She said that my lining looked absolutely perfect (12.5 mm) and that my estrogen levels were perfect too. My blood work indicated that my LH levels were starting to rise a bit on their own which is another reason we are definitely triggering tonight…. I wondered if this was a possibility because this morning I noticed some (sorry if this is TMI) EWCM for the first time in a long time... I thought about telling Betsy that but I decided to spare her the exciting details.
So…. The hubby and I will be having lots and lots of fun this weekend (just like my friend Lulu and her hubby!!)! Tonight, Saturday, and Sunday… I can’t wait. The progesterone suppositories (which I’ve heard are lots of messy fun) start Monday.
All in all… I’m happy! I just told my hubby to give his boys a good talking to and tell them to be ready to fertilize this beautiful egg!
Now I’m just going to count down the hours until I can leave work (3 more to go!) and start making a baby!!!!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I went into my monitoring appointment today in a really good mood! Even though I was tired from getting up at 4:45 (my RE’s office is 45 minutes away and I had a 7:00 am appointment), I was excited for my ultrasound.
My favorite nurse did my blood work this morning which was great and we had on the same sweater! So now I love her even more.
After my blood work, I went in for my ultrasound with the RE that is normally there in the mornings. She told me that my lining looked great (I forgot to ask for the measurements!) and then she said that she was going to look for some follicles. She started with my right ovary and announced, “Looks like we have 10 under 10”…. I started to panic. What was wrong with my right ovary? Um, hello! I took Clomid this month! We need at least one follie over 10 mm, Righty!
Then we moved over to my left ovary. I love my left ovary. I am left handed and I have always preferred the left side of my body for that reason (just kidding!). I just knew Lefty wouldn’t let me down. Then the RE said, “The left one has 8 under 10”. WHAT?? I almost asked her if she was serious. Finally she announced, “There it is. One follicle is growing nicely. It’s 16 mm.” Immediately, I was like, “Is that normal?” She said that it was definitely normal but that we want it to get as close to 20 mm as possible before triggering. So I have another appointment on Friday morning at 7:00 (same day as your appointment Lulu!) to see if my beautiful follicle is big enough to use my Ovidrel.
So am I still in a good mood? Yes I am! I was really hoping for 2 decent size follicles but I’m very happy with what I have. Now I’m going to go pray that this little follicle continues to grow nice and big so we are ready for our Friday appointment!
PS – I think I read somewhere that eating a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel from Panera helps follicles grow bigger so that’s what I’m doing this morning! (Totally kidding.)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
This past Saturday, the hubby and I were planning to do some shopping and then go out to dinner with some friends in the evening. I woke up that morning not feeling the greatest, so we decided to just hang out around the house and make it a movie/Chinese take-out type of day.
Just as I was starting to enjoy my relaxing day, my husband brought in the mail. Now normally, this would not be a huge deal but I saw a package in his arms.
I said – “Yay! The Christmas stocking I ordered for Josie (our new pup) is here!”
Mark – “No… it’s not that.”
Me – “What is it then? I didn’t order anything else.”
Mark – “It’s Similac”
Me – “BABY FORMULA??? Who sent us THAT?”
Mark – “I think it’s a free sample.”
Then, I remembered. Back in March, after I had found out that I was pregnant (I had a miscarriage in April at 6 ½ weeks), I signed up for every pregnancy related website I could find…. So since my due date for that pregnancy is coming up (November 30), I guess that’s why they sent it.
At first, I was super annoyed… I almost just threw it in the trash. But I decided not to… maybe it’s a good sign! I don’t know. I’m not trying to get my hopes up too much, but it would be so nice to get a BFP before my due date for my first pregnancy is here.
We will see…. Tomorrow morning is my monitoring appointment! I hope the Clomid did its job! Not looking forward to getting up at the crack of dawn but hopefully they will have good news for me!
Friday, October 29, 2010
Tonight will be the 5th and LAST night of taking my Clomid. And as far as those common side effects my nurse warned me about…. Mood swings? Nope, I’ve been in a great mood the past week! Hot flashes? Nada – I’m sitting here in my office at work with a blanket around me! Sore breasts? The girls feel great! (Wish the Clomid would make them a little bit bigger….but I’ll settle for one or two nice size follicles instead!).
But I have been feeling…. Really… BLAH. Like, kind of nauseous… Especially right before dinner. I will feel hungry but I will take a few bites and not want to eat anymore. It’s really getting kind of annoying because we have had some really yummy dinners this week! I take my medication with dinner each night and I really hate it. I’m not the best pill taker in the world (I have to take one at a time – I’m very dramatic about it) and I feel like I’m going to throw up after each one. Gross.
I am also EXHAUSTED. Now, I have no idea if this is Clomid’s fault or not but I have been getting at least 10 hours of sleep every night and I still feel like I’m dragging the next day.
Again, I have no idea if the tiredness and nausea have anything to do with my new friend Clomid. Maybe I’m just stressed or something. I don’t really care if I was having every side effect in the book, I would put up with them all if this medication is doing what it’s supposed to! We will find out next Wednesday (the 3rd) at my monitoring appointment... I hope they will have good news for me!
In other news… I’m going to see Saw 3D tonight with the hubby and a bunch of our friends! I’m very excited. I’m definitely not big on scary movies (I dislike most of them because they give me nightmares!) but I have watched the Saw movies from the beginning and I find the story line very interesting. I’m a little nervous about the 3D part… I don’t know if I can handle that much blood and gore flying at me… eeek.
Anyway… hope everyone has a very Happy Halloween weekend! Enjoy all of the yummy candy!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Yesterday, we returned home from a fun weekend in Washington DC… We met up with my Mom, stepdad, and brother and had a blast eating great food, relaxing in the hotel’s hot tub, and visiting awesome museums. But the best part about the trip? AF decided to come along too! Now normally, I would not welcome her presence during a weekend getaway with my hubby, however, this time it made me happy…. Because now I can officially start a real treatment cycle! Since she came on Saturday, I went in for my Day 3 monitoring (ultra sound and blood work) this morning. My nurse just called and said that my blood work came back normal and that I have lots of cute little follicles (she did not use the word cute... but I'm sure that they are VERY cute) and that my lining looks good…. Meaning… I start my Clomid tonight! I am a little nervous about some of those nasty side effects I’ve heard about but I’m sure it will be okay…. so bring it on Clomid... I'm eager to get to know you over the next five days....
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I’m so ready for AF to get here that I don’t know what to do. I keep feeling like she is going to come any day now and I wish she’d hurry up so I can start my first (and hopefully only!) treatment cycle! I’m on CD 34 today and my cycle lasted 34 days last month so I’m hoping tomorrow is my lucky day!
I have been trying to keep myself occupied during all of this waiting… The past two Sundays I have gone to some NFL football games since my dad has Redskins season tickets… So much fun! On Sunday the 10th, Mark and I went to the Redskins vs. Packers game at Fed Ex Field. My husband is originally from Milwaukee, WI so he has always been a huge Packers fan. They ended up losing but it was still lots of fun!
This past Sunday, I went to the Redskins vs. Colts game with my Dad. Now, I of course am a Packers fan and I always cheer them on but I have a HUGE crush on Peyton Manning! I’m not a Colts fan … but I’m a BIG Peyton Manning fan!
Here’s a pic of my hubby and me at the Packers game:
Well that’s about all for now. Mark and I (and my stepson) are headed to DC this weekend with my Mom, Stepdad, and Brother so I’m really looking forward to some time away… I just hope AF will get here soon!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
I got my meds in the mail last night! I was actually super excited. I received the Ovidrel (pre-filled syringe) and my Clomid and Prometrium. They sent them with a cold pack to keep the Ovidrel cold. I even took a picture of everything (because I’m a dork like that…I will add the pics later). I got a little nervous when I took out the syringe but after going to our Injection class this morning I am totally over it – It will be a piece of cake. Mark came with me to the class (since he will be giving me the injection) and as he was practicing with the saline-filled syringes I couldn’t help but think that he looked a little bit like Dexter…. Does anyone else watch that show? It is one of our favorites! I highly recommend it if you’ve never seen it! Anyway, Mark is not nervous at all anymore either… he says it will be easy.
I’m still currently taking a daily dose of 1000 mg of Metformin and will up it to 1500 mg per day this Friday. I told my nurse this morning that I have never been so excited to start my period so that we can get this show on the road!
Monday, September 27, 2010
So I think I’m starting to feel some of the side effects of this Metformin… Wow… Good thing my RE prescribed the extended release kind… I hope my body starts getting used to it soon! Even though I know my hubby thinks my gas is sexy….
Since there isn’t much going on right now, I thought I would talk about my two babies… my dogs! They really help keep my mind off of the whole infertility thing. Whenever I’m sad, I love to hang out with them.
Sophie is our French Bulldog-Chihuahua Mix… She showed up on our front door step a few days after we got back from our Honeymoon… Mark was definitely not a dog person but he said we could keep her until we found the owners. When we found the owners a few days later, they said that they had been looking for a new home for her since they couldn’t keep her and gave her to us! By then, Mark wanted to keep her just as much as I did... It was the BEST wedding present. I love, love, LOVE her!
After I went through my miscarriage and Mark and I started talking about going back to the fertility clinic, he thought it might be a good idea to get a new puppy… He thought it might help to take my mind off of everything… So a few weeks ago, we got our newest addition, Josie! She is a Chorkie (Chihuhua-Yorkie mix)… She is super cute but a TON of work! We love her!
Friday, September 24, 2010
I am feeling pretty great right now! Mark and I went to our follow up consultation today at our fertility clinic and found out that I have Poly-cystic ovaries … yippee!
Okay… so that was totally not my reaction – but close… I am thrilled to know that we actually know what the problem is and that it is treatable. I was scared to death that the RE was going to say, “Well, I really don’t know what is wrong with you guys!”
She said that Mark’s semen analysis came back perfectly normal (upon hearing this he let out a huge sigh of relief!) and so did my HSG (which I already knew). One thing that she said that concerned me a little was that while the ultrasound showed I had poly-cystic ovaries, my blood work came back completely normal. So she said that we really don’t have an explanation to why my ovaries are poly-cystic. My periods are also very regular (I also ovulate regularly) and I have no other known symptoms. Aside from that, she was incredibly optimistic. She told me again that she was certain that I was going to get pregnant. She said that she was confident that the medication she will be prescribing will help me ovulate eggs that are of a better quality.
Now on to the game plan… since I am on Day 8 of my current cycle, she is starting me off on Metformin – which is an insulin reducing medication that is used commonly among PCOS patients. Since it will be a few weeks until my next cycle begins, I will have an opportunity to get used to the Metformin and try out different dosages if needed.
When my next cycle starts, we will be doing what they call a “timed intercourse” cycle. Essentially, I will stay on the Metformin and then begin on Clomid (50mg) on cycle days 3-7. I will also be going in regularly for ultra sound and blood work monitoring. My RE told me that they will also tell me when to use the HCG “trigger” shot (Mark will be administering this I assure you) which will be followed by lots and lots of intercourse (or “BDing” for those of you who prefer this term). She also said that I will more than likely be using Progesterone suppositories as well (… my vagina will be thrilled I’m sure).
Anyway so that’s about it! I’m feeling great that we finally have some answers to our problems and hopefully some solutions!
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
OMG…. I have a blog. That is literally what I am thinking right now. So far, I have only told one person about this blog– my husband, Mark.
What is my reason for creating this blog? Simply put, I need an outlet. I feel like I am going crazy and I’m quite frankly tired of all these crazy thoughts/emotions and I want to get them out of my head.
I will start by giving you a little bit of a background on our situation… It has been about 1 year and 2 months since my husband and I have been actively trying to conceive a baby (We had been using the “not preventing” method prior to beginning to officially “try” several months after our wedding in May 2008). When Mark and I agreed to start to officially try for a baby, I was super excited. Being the planner that I am, I went out and bought all of the essentials – Ovulation tests, Pre-Seed, Prenatal Vitamins, “What to Expect before You’re Expecting”, a basal body thermometer… etc. We were prepared and we started “trying” like there’s no tomorrow. I was ovulating right on schedule (according to my test strips) and I had my calendar up to date. We were ready.
Several months went by and we started to get frustrated. I come from a very, ahem, fertile family and I never thought it would take more than a month or two to get pregnant. Finally, after much thought, Mark and I decided to go to a fertility clinic. I was very stressed out by the idea of admitting that we might have a problem but at the same time, I was tired of being stressed out! We booked an appointment for March of 2010.
Our first experience with the fertility clinic was on March 19th 2010. I remember feeling very emotional and apprehensive in the waiting room that day but I left feeling GREAT. I absolutely ADORED our doctor. She was super knowledgeable and took the time to go over all of the preliminary testing that we would be going through. The best part about the meeting was when she looked over my medical history and said, “My average patient’s age is 37. You are 24 years old – you are GOING to get pregnant. Even if we have to do one of the more involved treatments, we will do it, and it will work.” At that point I just started bawling in her office. Needless to say, I was very excited to be working with someone who had so much confidence in us! She explained that our next step would be to give them a call when I got my next period so that we could start scheduling our preliminary testing.
A few days later, I was anxiously awaiting my period so that I could call Shady Grove to begin my testing. I remember feeling especially tired and that my breasts were feeling extremely sore. I NEVER had experienced breast soreness at any part of my cycle before so I did think that this was a little odd. Over the next two days, the breast soreness became even worse. With no sign of my period, I finally decided to use a leftover, internet pregnancy test that I had gotten for free when I had ordered Pre-Seed from a website. I was home by myself at the time so I thought, “What the heck” and decided to take it. I remember looking at the test after about 30 seconds and thinking, “Yup, it’s negative.” About a minute later though, a distinctive, but very faint second pink line appeared! I thought, “Well, it’s probably a bad test or something.” I threw the test away and didn’t think much more about it until later that evening when I decided to pick up my “What to Expect Before You’re Expecting” book. I started reading the chapter on Pregnancy Tests and it said that if you have a second line appear on a pregnancy test, even if it is a faint line it indicates a positive result! Well, I still didn’t get too excited because I had never, EVER had a positive pregnancy test before and I did not think it was a possibility. I decided that I would test again with another freebie test with “first morning urine” the next day.
On the morning of March 25, 2010, I decided to use my last remaining pregnancy test. This time, a faint, second pink line came up almost immediately. Again, for some reason, I was still hesitant to believe it indicated a positive result. I did end up telling Mark but explained that I was “pretty sure” that it didn’t mean anything.
That afternoon, I needed to stop at Target to pick up a few things. On a whim, I decided to pick up one of the Clear Blue Digital pregnancy tests. As soon as I got home, I decided to go ahead and use it so I could stop worrying about it. In less than a few seconds, the results appeared on the screen – Pregnant! I couldn’t believe it. I was literally shaking as I picked up the phone to call Mark. Mark was of course very excited and almost in disbelief. I called my Mom right afterwards so that I could tell her. Since my dad was coming over for dinner that night, I waited for him to get there to show him the test. It was a very exciting night for all of us! Mark immediately wanted to tell his son (my stepson) but I was very hesitant. I knew that not all pregnancies were “problem-free” but I finally gave in and decided to let him tell him.
Over the next few days, Mark wanted to tell everyone. I was selective about who he told but I eventually decided to let him tell a group of friends that we spend a good deal of time with. Since my grandparents 50th Anniversary was in a few weeks, we decided that we would wait until then to share the news with them.
When we announced that we were pregnant at my grandparent’s anniversary party – it was a very exciting time! My immediate family knew that Mark and I had been trying for a while so it was a very happy occasion for everyone. I remember feeling extremely happy and so excited to finally be pregnant.
A few days after the anniversary party, I started to lose some of my “pregnancy symptoms”. My breasts were not feeling quite so sore and I remember feeling worried that I was not yet experiencing any type of morning sickness but was already over six weeks pregnant. I tried very hard not to worry but when I started “spotting” at work a few days later, I sent Mark a message and told him that we needed to go to the ER right away.
When we arrived at the ER, I started feeling very emotional. I knew that a lot of women did experience spotting early in their pregnancies, but I still feared the worst. We were taken back to a private room in the hospital and a nurse came in for a blood sample. She told me that they needed to do an ultrasound as well. After giving blood, we had to wait about three hours before being taken to get the ultrasound. I got up at least 10 times during that time to use the bathroom. I didn’t notice any more spotting but I was still worried.
When I finally had my ultrasound I knew exactly what was going on. After it was over, I started bleeding extremely heavily and I broke down crying. Thank goodness Mark was there with me. I couldn’t imagine going through something like that without him.
We were then taken back to our room and the doctor came in to confirm our worst fear – I was having a miscarriage. He said that my HCG levels were low but that based on the results of the ultrasound, he doubted that I would need at D&C. Instead, he did an exam and checked my cervix to make sure it was closed. He told me that I could go home, patted me on the shoulder and said that he was sorry. He told me that miscarriages are very common in first pregnancies and that my chances were very good that I wouldn’t have any problems next time.
That drive home was the worst. After I started bleeding, I started experiencing very painful cramping and back pain. I remember having a terrible migraine from crying so much and all I wanted to do was go home, get in bed, and hold my precious little dog, Sophie.
Looking back now, I feel bad for Mark and what he had to go through too. He took very good care of me and made the calls to my parents and grandparents to break the news.
We ended up eating dinner in bed and going to bed early.
I remember waking up the next morning and not wanting to get out of bed. I was extremely upset and disappointed and I did not want to talk to anyone. Finally, Mark convinced me to talk to my Mom (and later my Dad). My mom was very supportive and easy to talk to. She had gone through losing two different sets of twins so to say that she understood what I was feeling is an understatement. She made me feel a lot better and made me realize that miscarriages are very common and that it was a good thing to know that I could get pregnant.
Over the next few weeks, I started feeling much more optimistic. We decided that as soon as my cycle returned, we would start trying.
33 days after my miscarriage, I got my first period – May 9, 2010 – Ironically, Mother’s Day. We started trying right away using ovulation tests to confirm that I was ovulating regularly again. We decided to hold off on calling the fertility clinic because we thought, “It happened once… it’s got to happen again.”
After a few months went by of trying unsuccessfully, we both began to get frustrated. I could not understand what was happening and why I wasn’t getting pregnant again.
In July 2010, after returning from vacation, I received a voicemail from my assigned nurse, from the fertility clinic. She said that she was calling to see if we had any questions and to give her a call if we still wanted to move forward with testing.
Receiving that call was the push that I needed. I talked to Mark and we both decided we were ready to go back. I called my nurse the next day and left her a long, detailed message explaining what we had been through since our last visit. I was fearful that she would call back stating that we would need to continue to try on our own for a certain amount of time before going for testing since we had now gotten pregnant by ourselves.
A few days later, she returned my call and left me a message stating that she was sorry about what had happened but that we could still move forward with any testing and treatment. She told me to call the Shady Grove Office when I got my next period.
On August 14, 2010, I got my period. I called the clinic right away to schedule my “Day 3 Blood work and Ultrasound”.
On August 17th, 2010 I went in for my appointment. The woman who performed my ultrasound was super nice and even took the time to explain what we were seeing on the screen. She told me that everything looked good and that I had 12 follicles on one ovary and 13 follicles on the other.
Later that day, my nurse called me and explained that my blood work and ultrasound both looked good and everything was normal. She explained that the next procedure I would have would be an HSG which would check for any abnormalities of the uterus or any blockages in the fallopian tubes.
The HSG was a few days later. The nurse took me back to the x-ray suite and first had me sign some paperwork prior to the procedure. I then had to provide a urine sample so they could confirm that I was not pregnant. She then took me to a dressing room and explained that I needed to remove my pants and underwear and shoes. She gave me a pink hospital-type gown to wear and booties for my feet.
A few minutes later, she came back for me and took me to the room where I would be having my procedure. She had me get up on the exam table and the doctor came in with another nurse and introduced himself. I think he was one of the nicest doctors I have ever met! I was very nervous but he made me feel completely at ease. I had to lie back on the table and put my legs in stirrups (instead of my feet). I was worried because I had heard the procedure could be a little painful. The doctor explained that I might feel a little pressure. I remember feeling a little uncomfortable but I didn’t have any real pain or significant cramping. The doctor completely took my mind off of what was happening by joking with me and asking me questions about my husband. He was great!
Before I knew it, the nurses were turning on the lights and it was over! The doctor showed me the screen which showed that both of my tubes were completely open and he said my uterus looked “beautiful”. I had to remain lying down for a few minutes and then they told me I could go get dressed. The nurse gave me a pad to wear to catch any dye that might leak out.
I was then free to leave. I went back to the waiting room to get Mark and to tell him the good news.
On the way home, I started feeling a little bit of cramping but it wasn’t too bad. Later, at work I had much more cramping (like a bad period) so I had to take some ibuprofen.
A few weeks after the HSG, Mark went to the fertility clinic office to drop off his sample for the semen analysis. I couldn’t go with him this time since I had a conference call already scheduled but I am very thankful that he is so willing to do whatever we need to do. We should have the results when we go in for our follow up appointment (to discuss treatment options!) this Friday (9/24/10) with my doctor.
So that is the beginning of our journey. I know that this is an exceptionally long first post… but I’m glad that my brand new blog is now up to date.
Counting down the days until my appointment on Friday!