Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Last night was my first acupuncture session. I made the appointment thinking, “Well, we’ll see how it goes. I’m not sure if I will continue with it or not…” Well, I loved it.
I had a crazy day at work yesterday and I was super busy. I’m prone to migraines and by the end of the day my head was pounding. I decided not to take any medication for it because I had heard that acupuncture can help relieve headache pain pretty quickly.
When I went in for my appointment, I sat down with the acupuncturist and we went over everything that had been going on with my infertility. I told her about the miscarriage in April and the chemical pregnancy that I had just had. While she was looking over my paperwork, I admired a huge bulletin board she has in her office with pictures of babies that her former patients had sent in. She explained that she had helped many women with the exact same problems as I have get pregnant and STAY pregnant.
When she was ready to begin the acupuncture she had me get up on a table and lie down on my back while she took my pulse. I expected her to put needles around my belly button but she said that she won’t do that for the first session. Instead, she put needles in my wrist area and in my feet. The only one that hurt a little was one in my little toe (ouch!). I then told her that I had a really bad headache so she put needles all over my head! I expected them to hurt a lot but I didn’t even feel them.
After she was finished putting in the needles, she told me to relax and that she would come back. I expected to fall asleep but I didn’t even though I was VERY relaxed. I didn’t feel any different except that I could feel some of the pressure in my head going away.
By the time she came back to take the needles out, my head definitely did feel better but I still had some pain. She told me to go home and relax and that it should go away on its own.
I went home and had dinner and by the time I was finished my headache was completely gone! Normally, when I get a migraine I will have to take several ibuprofen and will have to go to sleep to make it go away. I really wasn’t expecting it to work so well.
Obviously I’m not going to an acupuncturist for headaches but it was nice to be able to feel something after just one session. I have been researching acupuncture for many months and I know a few people personally who have had great success with it while going fertility treatments. I hope to have success with it too! If nothing else, it is very relaxing and I think anyone going through fertility treatments could use a little relaxation. :)
Monday, November 29, 2010
Wednesday morning, I was supposed to go in for blood work. I didn’t. What was the point? I knew what was happening. My breasts were starting to not feel as sore anymore and I just knew that my levels were going down instead of up. I just wanted to wait until I started bleeding to go back into the office.
So I went home from work early on Wednesday and decided that I would start cooking. So that’s what I did… I cooked all Wednesday evening and then got up on Thursday morning and cooked some more. My Thanksgiving meal turned out perfectly. The turkey was beautiful. My wonderful husband even got the wishbone from last year and we made a wish. I hope both of our wishes come true. I’m not trying to be greedy, because I am very thankful for the family and friends that I have, I just wish that I had a little more to be thankful for this year.
On Friday morning I got up and was excited to go shopping… instead I realized that I had started bleeding (very heavily) and had major cramping. I told Mark what happened and said that I was going back to bed for a little while and that we could go shopping later. I had expected this. I knew that it probably wouldn’t hurt as much or that I would bleed as much as I did with my miscarriage in April but it was bad. It was very painful and I almost decided to just stay home. But I didn’t. My dad came over and the three of us went shopping! I ended up having a good time and was glad that I went. We also put up our Christmas tree on Friday! This is always an exciting event for me. I love getting out all of my ornaments and decorations while watching Christmas movies. It’s the best tradition ever. Even though I’m probably the least excited for the holidays that I have ever been, I couldn’t help but have a good time.
Saturday was more of a lazy day. We stayed home and watched movies for most of the day and then went out to dinner and did some more shopping.
Sunday morning we had to get up early to go for my Day 3 blood work and ultra sound at my RE’s main office (since they are open on weekends) which is about an hour and a half away. We ended up getting there early and they took me back right away. After we left, we went to an awesome mall which is near that office and did MORE shopping! I’m so grateful for a husband who enjoys shopping almost as much as I do! We had a great time and then went home to watch football for the rest of the day.
The RE’s office called me later on Sunday and told me that my blood work and ultrasound looked normal and that I could start my Clomid that night. So here we go again. I am praying that this cycle ends with a positive pregnancy test AND a healthy pregnancy/baby!
Monday, November 22, 2010
So yesterday was 14 DPO. I woke up, told Mark that I was 95% sure that I was not pregnant but that I wanted him to go get me a pregnancy test so I could make sure it was safe to stop taking my Prometrium.
So off he went. In the mean time, I stayed home and made a yummy breakfast for us of French Toast and sausage.
A little while later, after I had held my urine for a respectable amount of time, I announced to Mark that I was going to go take one of my two pregnancy tests that he had brought home for me. I told him that even though it would be negative, at LEAST I could take a break from the gross progesterone suppositories for a while!
Then…. I went into the bathroom and peed on the stick. And IT WAS POSITIVE. I started shaking and I yelled for Mark. He was like, “There are two lines! I thought you said it was going to be negative!” We both couldn’t believe it. I had been so sure that I was not pregnant based on how I felt. I told him that I would go to the RE’s office the next day to get a blood test.
The rest of the day, I tried not to get excited. I had absolutely NO desire to tell ANYONE but I couldn’t stop staring at the test. I kept thinking, “Could this be it?”… “PLEASE, PLEASE let this one stick!!”.
I hardly slept last night. I woke up every few hours. I finally got up at 4:30 and peed on another stick… it was positive but it was LIGHTER than yesterdays. I started feeling sick to my stomach and I’ve felt that way the rest of the morning. I have a terrible feeling that my beta is going to be horribly low.
I’m REALLY trying to think positive but I just don’t see a reason for my test this morning to be LIGHTER than yesterday’s test especially when I tested this morning with FMU.
All I can do is wait for my nurse to call me with the results. This REALLY sucks. I would have felt so much better if the test was NEGATIVE. I don’t feel like hearing my nurse say something like, “Well, you’re numbers aren’t high enough for this to be a viable pregnancy.”
Regardless of how I feel, I will be praying for good news ….
Friday, November 19, 2010
This 2 WW is starting to get really annoying. I have no pregnancy tests in my house as I initially wanted to wait until 14 dpo to test. Now that I’m getting closer and closer, I’m just ready to get it over with because I’m so sure that it’s going to be negative. We are supposed to go out to dinner tomorrow night so I’m going to pick up an HPT and I’ll probably test when we get home. If it is indeed negative, then I will (gladly!) stop taking my prometrium and wait to get my period. I’m just glad that the wait is almost over… I’m so ready to move on.
This weekend should be pretty busy for us at least…. My dad is running his 11th JFK 50 Mile race on Saturday. He loves it… it’s like Christmas to him every year. To Mark and I, it’s like Black Friday for those in the retail profession. We have to get up at like 3:30 in the morning and drive him to the starting line (he starts at 5:00 am). Then we follow him around all day long meeting him at various stops along the way giving him Power gels, Gatoraide, or other things he may need. Don’t get me wrong… I am very proud of him every year for keeping in such great shape and running such a long distance… but it’s just a very long, boring day for Mark and me. I guess it will give me a chance to catch up on some reading!
Happy Friday everyone… Hope you all have a GREAT weekend! :)
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
I’m not sure that I’m going to make it to POAS on Sunday without AF showing up first. I woke up this morning with some cramping and I was certain that when I went to the bathroom that she would be there. Thankfully so far, she has stayed away. I’m about 90% sure, however, that even if I don’t get my period before Sunday that I’m going to see a BFN when I test. I just feel like I’m going to get my period. I’m bloated and the cramps feel just like mild AF cramps. I know it’s not over yet but I’m definitely preparing myself and I’m already thinking about the next cycle.
Even though I’m having doubts about the success of this cycle, I’ve been in a really good mood these past few days because…. Thanksgiving is next week! I am cooking this year for some of our family and I’m super excited! I love to cook and I love the challenge of making a huge Thanksgiving feast all by myself. I think Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because I love the food and time with family and then I get to put up my Christmas decorations the day after! It’s a tradition. I love to put up the tree and watch all of my favorite Christmas movies. I look forward to it every year.
I also had a great meeting with the acupuncturist on Monday night! I went with my Dad to his session and it looks super relaxing. I’m definitely excited to try it. I asked her some questions and she recommended that I take a break from the fertility meds and just use herbs with acupuncture. I am definitely not ready for that. I explained to her that I trust my fertility clinic and that for now, I am going to stay on the medication that my doctor recommends but that I would like to start trying just the acupuncture. She was really nice about it and we made an appointment for Monday, Nov. 29th (she’s really booked up). I’m really looking forward to it! I know of two people personally who had struggled with infertility and never had success until they started using acupuncture in addition to their other treatments. My doctor also highly recommends it. So we will see! It definitely gives me something to look forward to!
Monday, November 15, 2010
My boobs are KILLING ME. Like all day, every day to the point where I can no longer sleep on my stomach. All I’ve been thinking about at work today is how I cannot wait to get home and take off my bra.
Unfortunately, breast “tenderness” is one of the most common side effects of prometrium. So as much as I’d like to think that it is my body’s way of saying, “You are pregnant! Congratulations!!”….it most definitely does not count as a pregnancy symptom. Otherwise, I would have already peed on a stick. It is really messing with my mind though… especially since I feel GREAT otherwise. I wish I could say that I spent my weekend puking up everything I ate, peeing every 5 minutes, and sleeping all day long... but I didn’t. I guess I’ve been a little tired lately but that’s about it.
I haven’t completely given up hope but I’m DREADING testing day. I’m thinking that I will probably test on Saturday evening or Sunday morning…. I haven’t decided yet. I will definitely be testing at some point over the weekend so that I can call my RE’s office first thing on Monday morning. If the test is positive (please, please, PLEASE!) then GREAT! Let’s schedule some blood work! If it’s negative, I will most likely be sad for a little while but I will be ready to get started with the next cycle. So we will see.
In other news, I’m meeting with an acupuncturist tonight! My dad is a marathon runner (he has a 50 miler coming up this Saturday!) and he goes regularly and LOVES it. He talked with his acupuncturist last week about my “situation” and she gave him some really interesting paperwork to give me on “Acupuncture and Infertility.” So I’m going to meet with her tonight to ask her some questions. I really do think that it is something that I would like to try for my next cycle if I get a BFN next weekend.
That’s about it! Happy Monday!
Friday, November 12, 2010
As much as I day dream about pregnancy and babies, you would think that I would dream about pregnancy and babies at night too…. But I don’t… Well not very often.
I usually have crazy, weird dreams. And they are most always about high school. I went to a very small, private school (which I absolutely LOVED) and I grew up with everyone in my class from Kindergarten to 12thgrade. We were all very close growing up even though most of us have grown apart since graduation. It seems every time I dream about anything it’s about someone from that time in my life.
But last night was different. I had the most amazingly perfect dream. I had a dream that I was pregnant… pretty early on and that I was getting my first ultrasound. And I saw a beautiful heart beat on the screen. It felt so real! I was by myself at the ultrasound and then I went home to Mark (I don’t know why he wasn’t with me at the ultrasound) and I was trying to describe how beautiful it was…. And then I woke up! I was a little sad that it was just a dream but at the same time… it made me excited. I have been pregnant before but I never got to see a beautiful, beating heart on an ultrasound screen. It’s a moment that I’ve always looked forward to. I can’t imagine what it must feel like.
Cinderella says that a “dream is a wish that your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.” ….. I just hope this dream/wish comes true soon!!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Based on when the hubby gave me the Ovidrel injection, I would have ovulated sometime very early Sunday morning… which would put me at 4 dpo today. And I am feeling…. COMPLETELY NORMAL. After the Ovidrel shot, my nipples started feeling really, really sore but I know that was from the HCG. It started to go away a few days ago but they are starting to feel pretty sore again – for which I’m blaming the prometrium suppositories (have I mentioned that they are extremely gross??). I’ve also had very mild cramping as of this morning but I’m not really considering that a symptom of anything.
I keep trying to think back to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant the first time…
It was March and I wasn’t thinking about anything during that 2ww except for our first consultation with my RE. We had sex a total of maybe 2 times that month so in my mind, pregnancy wasn’t even a possibility. After we met with the RE, I remember telling Mark that I hoped my period came soon so that I could start my Day 3 testing (I was due for AF about 4 days after our appointment).
2 days after our appointment, I noticed that my breasts were a little sore and they kept getting worse and worse until my period was finally late.
Now, I hate peeing on sticks. I HATE it. I don’t ever do it unless my period is really late because I HATE seeing only one line. But I finally gave in this time because my breasts are NEVER sore. Ever. Not even before my period is due. It was my only symptom until after I got my BFP.
Now I know all pregnancies are different … blah, blah, blah. Plus that pregnancy sadly ended in a miscarriage so I’m not sure I should be comparing any of the symptoms to any subsequent pregnancies. BUT…. if I don’t feel any different next week, then I really don’t want to test until my period is late. I hate seeing a negative HPT more than I hate the arrival of AF.
I know this sounds crazy because many people can’t wait to POAS. Why not me too? This is the first real treatment cycle we have ever done and I should be excited! But today, I’m just not feeling so optimistic about it.
I’m so sorry that this is such a “Debbie Downer” post…. This is just how I’m feeling at the moment. And it feels good to get these feelings out…. Just another reason that I’m glad I started this blog.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Here are some of the pictures from the “Puppy Photo Shoot” we took Sophie and Josie to this weekend…. They had a blast!
Mark and I with the pups! We weren't expecting to be in any of the pictures ... if we would have known we would have dressed a little nicer! :)
I love Sophie's face in this picture! She was not too happy.... :)
Happy Tuesday! :)
Monday, November 8, 2010
Let me just say that I’m glad ovulation happened over the weekend. Because I am exhausted! At first I thought, “Have sex 4 times in 3 days? No problem! We used to have sex 4 times a day when we first got together!” Well folks, that was a long time ago. But I’m not complaining … because it WAS fun… just a little tiring towards the end of the weekend. I think my legs are just glad that they haven’t been up in the air yet today!
I also started my progesterone suppositories this morning. The only thing I have to say about that is, “Thank God for panty liners.” Gross.
I must say that the Ovidrel shot was a piece of cake. Mark gave me the shot at 6:00 on Friday evening and I barely felt it. I have noticed that my nipples are very sore but I’m sure that will go away as the HCG wears off.
The other exciting thing we did this weekend (besides hopefully making a baby!) is we took our dogs to a photo shoot! A photographer that we met through a mutual friend wanted to take pictures of dogs for her website so Sophie and Josie got to be models for the day! I saw a few of the pictures and they turned out really cute… I will post some of them as soon as I get them. All of that picture taking had me daydreaming about maternity and newborn photo shoots….
Anyway…here’s to the beginning of the two week wait…. Let’s hope that it goes by quickly and ends with a BFP!
Friday, November 5, 2010
Yes, it true – My hubby gets to give me the “trigger” shot of Ovidrel tonight! On CD 14!
Okay, so this morning, I went in bright and early and couldn’t wait to see how my cute little follie was doing. The ultrasound tech inserted the “dildo cam” and she showed it to me right away and said that she would measure it. I was praying the whole time for 20 mm. Then she said, “It’s at 18.5”. So… I asked her what that meant (the RE wasn’t there today) and she said “Well, you’ll more than likely have to come back tomorrow for monitoring because we like to see them at 20 mm, but your nurse will call you back later for more details.”
Ugh. Have I mentioned that I’m not a big fan of waiting around for information like this? Anyway… on to the good part. My nurse, Betsy (I love, love, LOVE her) just called me! She said, “Hey Andrea! You are triggering tonight!” I was like, “I am?? Is that okay? My follicle was only at 18.5!” She said that while they like to see 20 mm or greater, anything over 18 is considered mature. She said that my lining looked absolutely perfect (12.5 mm) and that my estrogen levels were perfect too. My blood work indicated that my LH levels were starting to rise a bit on their own which is another reason we are definitely triggering tonight…. I wondered if this was a possibility because this morning I noticed some (sorry if this is TMI) EWCM for the first time in a long time... I thought about telling Betsy that but I decided to spare her the exciting details.
So…. The hubby and I will be having lots and lots of fun this weekend (just like my friend Lulu and her hubby!!)! Tonight, Saturday, and Sunday… I can’t wait. The progesterone suppositories (which I’ve heard are lots of messy fun) start Monday.
All in all… I’m happy! I just told my hubby to give his boys a good talking to and tell them to be ready to fertilize this beautiful egg!
Now I’m just going to count down the hours until I can leave work (3 more to go!) and start making a baby!!!!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
I went into my monitoring appointment today in a really good mood! Even though I was tired from getting up at 4:45 (my RE’s office is 45 minutes away and I had a 7:00 am appointment), I was excited for my ultrasound.
My favorite nurse did my blood work this morning which was great and we had on the same sweater! So now I love her even more.
After my blood work, I went in for my ultrasound with the RE that is normally there in the mornings. She told me that my lining looked great (I forgot to ask for the measurements!) and then she said that she was going to look for some follicles. She started with my right ovary and announced, “Looks like we have 10 under 10”…. I started to panic. What was wrong with my right ovary? Um, hello! I took Clomid this month! We need at least one follie over 10 mm, Righty!
Then we moved over to my left ovary. I love my left ovary. I am left handed and I have always preferred the left side of my body for that reason (just kidding!). I just knew Lefty wouldn’t let me down. Then the RE said, “The left one has 8 under 10”. WHAT?? I almost asked her if she was serious. Finally she announced, “There it is. One follicle is growing nicely. It’s 16 mm.” Immediately, I was like, “Is that normal?” She said that it was definitely normal but that we want it to get as close to 20 mm as possible before triggering. So I have another appointment on Friday morning at 7:00 (same day as your appointment Lulu!) to see if my beautiful follicle is big enough to use my Ovidrel.
So am I still in a good mood? Yes I am! I was really hoping for 2 decent size follicles but I’m very happy with what I have. Now I’m going to go pray that this little follicle continues to grow nice and big so we are ready for our Friday appointment!
PS – I think I read somewhere that eating a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel from Panera helps follicles grow bigger so that’s what I’m doing this morning! (Totally kidding.)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
This past Saturday, the hubby and I were planning to do some shopping and then go out to dinner with some friends in the evening. I woke up that morning not feeling the greatest, so we decided to just hang out around the house and make it a movie/Chinese take-out type of day.
Just as I was starting to enjoy my relaxing day, my husband brought in the mail. Now normally, this would not be a huge deal but I saw a package in his arms.
I said – “Yay! The Christmas stocking I ordered for Josie (our new pup) is here!”
Mark – “No… it’s not that.”
Me – “What is it then? I didn’t order anything else.”
Mark – “It’s Similac”
Me – “BABY FORMULA??? Who sent us THAT?”
Mark – “I think it’s a free sample.”
Then, I remembered. Back in March, after I had found out that I was pregnant (I had a miscarriage in April at 6 ½ weeks), I signed up for every pregnancy related website I could find…. So since my due date for that pregnancy is coming up (November 30), I guess that’s why they sent it.
At first, I was super annoyed… I almost just threw it in the trash. But I decided not to… maybe it’s a good sign! I don’t know. I’m not trying to get my hopes up too much, but it would be so nice to get a BFP before my due date for my first pregnancy is here.
We will see…. Tomorrow morning is my monitoring appointment! I hope the Clomid did its job! Not looking forward to getting up at the crack of dawn but hopefully they will have good news for me!