Not sure if anyone is still out there...but we have our miracle babies!

I have no idea if anyone is still reading but we had our beautiful boy/girl twins on 2/1/12 at 36 weeks!

"Baby A" - Avery Leigh was born at 10:10 am weighing in at 5 lbs. 12 oz
"Baby B" - Connor Michael was born at 10:11 am weighing in at 5 lbs. 3 oz

We prayed for a miracle... and got two.

Avery on Left, Connor on Right

Praying that everyone gets their miracle(s) soon!

29 weeks, 5 days

Considering my last post was revealing the genders of our twinsies, I figured it was time for an update!

All is going so well! Even though I feel like I’m holding my breath everyday and praying, praying, praying that our babies are healthy, we always get perfect news at the ultrasounds. We had another one about two weeks ago and our babies were both 2 lbs. 12 oz and doing great! We are so, so thankful! Next ultrasound is this Thursday – I am so excited to see how much they have grown.

I also passed my gestational diabetes test with flying colors! I opted to do the 3 hour test instead of the 1 hour since I had a higher chance of failing with twins and the nurse said the results couldn’t have looked better. THANK GOODNESS. I was really hoping that I passed because I did NOT want to have to modify my diet over the holidays. :)

Our baby shower was also this month and it was SO SURREAL. I absolutely cannot believe that I have made it this far with these two little miracles and I was overwhelmed by the generosity of our guests. My co-workers also threw me a surprise shower this month and it was so incredible. These little ones are so spoiled already!

As far as names go, I think we are FINALLY set. Mark and I originally wanted to keep their names between the two of us until they are born but we ended up telling my parents and grandparents over the weekend and swore them to secrecy. I’m glad that they know because it was a hard secret to keep from them!

I realize that I have been a terrible blogger but most times, I feel like I really don’t have anything to say. I spend most of my time being thankful for the two miracles that I feel kicking away in my belly and pray that they continue to grow big and strong.  The past 30 weeks have felt like they have flown by and I can’t believe we are getting closer meeting our babies.

I still log on and read your updates all the time and I am thinking of all of you no matter where you are in your journeys.

Hoping everyone has a wonderful Christmas!

Gender Reveal Day!

Friday was the big day! The day we found out the sexes of our little twinsies at our anatomy scan! I was super excited of course but I was mostly just anxious to see them both and make sure they were both healthy.

First of all, they both looked GREAT! Both are measuring a few days ahead of schedule and they passed their anatomy scan with flying colors! Hooray!

The technician asked us if we wanted to know the genders and of course Mark and I said right away, “YES!!” …. She said, I can tell you right away that Baby A is a ….

GIRL!!!!!

Here is a picture of our DAUGHTER!! (Taken with my phone… excuse the quality- I need to start scanning some pics!)

I wasn’t too surprised that Baby A was a girl because at our 13 week ultrasound, they made an educated guess and told us they would bet that she was a girl. They couldn’t make a guess on Baby B at that time since he/she wasn’t cooperating.

So once again when the sonographer moved onto Baby B this time, he/she had his/her legs closed again so she couldn’t tell. I was so worried that we would have to wait until the next scan to find out the Baby B’s gender but at the last minute, the sonographer was able to get a perfect view of our little….

BOY!!!!!

Here is a picture of our SON!!

We have been on Cloud 9 since the ultrasound. I am so, so, happy that both babies are healthy and growing ahead of schedule. And I am over the moon that we are having one of each. I never would have guessed that we would have a girl and a boy. It is like the icing on the cake.

After all we have been through, I can’t even express how thankful we are for these two precious miracles.

15 Weeks, 6 days…

Otherwise known as 16 weeks tomorrow! Incredible.

Things are going pretty well… nausea is finally starting to subside a tiny bit. I’m still on the Zofran but hoping for not much longer. I’ve started having some back pain (in the middle of my back) which the doctor says is normal since I’m growing so quickly with the twins but I honestly didn’t expect it so early.

We had our NT scan at 13 weeks. It was AMAZING. The babies were moving around like crazy and looked so cute! They even took an educated guess at Baby A’s sex (they guessed girl! We will see if that continues). We got our results the day of the ultrasound (since we had our blood work done at a previous appointment) and we couldn’t have asked for better results. Both babies have less than 1 in 10,000 risk of any of the trisomies which they said is the best possible results we could have gotten. The other exciting news is that my high risk doctor released me back to my regular OB after we got the results of our tests! I pretty much thought that with twins, you needed to see a high risk doctor the entire time but he said my pregnancy was no more high risk than a singleton and that the babies were looking absolutely perfect. :) Such a relief.

Here are some pics of the babies from the scan:

Baby A



Baby B

At my 14 week appointment, my regular OB listened to the heartbeats with the Doppler and we scheduled the big gender reveal ultrasound – September 30^th! It seems so far away but I’m SO excited to find out the sexes of our little twinsies. Even more importantly, I’m just excited for another ultrasound to confirm that we still have two healthy babies growing!

I think one of the best things I’ve done so far is to rent a fetal heart Doppler. I waited to get it until 12 weeks since I wanted to make sure that I was at a point in my pregnancy where I actually could pick up the heartbeats. I have not had a problem finding them since day one… it has been SUCH a reassurance to me in between appointments. I told my husband that I will probably keep it until I can feel the babies moving but I may just keep it the whole pregnancy! I love it.

So that’s about it! Still here, still pregnant, and so incredibly thankful. Thinking of you guys and enjoying following along with your updates!

What I’ve Been Up To….

So I promise I did not fall off the face of the earth! I have been reading and following along with all of you but I haven’t been able to do much commenting since I do most of my blog catching up at work.

I really do want to list the details of my FET before I forget so I apologize in advance if this turns out to be a really long post!

May 20, 2011 – Day 1

After a month of birth control pills, AF finally decided to show up. I went in to the RE’s office on Day 2 for blood work and ultrasound… all looked good and I was told that we were ready to start my medications in preparation for our transfer. This was the first time I was introduced to Progesterone in Oil (I was on suppositories in all my past cycles) as well as Del Estrogen (also an IM injection). Overall, I think I really do prefer the IM injections over the suppositories – I have a high pain tolerance so I’d much rather deal with a little bit of pain than a mess!

June 8, 2011 – Lining Check

Went in for a lining check at was already over 12 mm! Was excited that the meds were doing their jobs. Transfer date was confirmed for June 13, 2011.

June 13, 2011 – FET

Transfer day. Mark and I got there early and I started filling my bladder in the waiting room. I was a wreck. I could not remember being this nervous for my fresh transfer. I felt sick to my stomach and I was so worried that one or both of our little embryos wouldn’t survive the thaw.

Finally, they took us back to our transfer room and they took my blood pressure. I can’t remember what it was but it was pretty high. I explained to the nurse that I was really nervous. She said that the doctor and embryologist would be in soon.

It seemed like forever before they finally came in. Finally, the RE who would be doing my transfer came in and said, “You’ve got some beautiful embryos – they both had an almost 100% cell survival rate.” After I heard that, I definitely shed a few tears. The doctor must have asked us 3 times if we were sure we wanted to transfer two because the quality was very good on both of them. He kept saying, “Are you okay with twins?” At this point, we were okay with anything. We had tried the eSET and that didn’t work so we were pretty much set on transferring them both.

The transfer was pretty easy and after it was over, I stayed lying down for about 20 minutes before getting up to use the bathroom. They did take my blood pressure again before I left and it was almost back to normal.

I then went home to my bed for the rest of the day with this picture:

TWW

I’m not going to say this tww was any better or any worse than the tww for my fresh IVF… it was about the same. Mark asked me every day if I was feeling any different and I really didn’t. I felt like I was going to get my period any second.

9dp5dt

My beta was not scheduled until 14dp5dt and there was no way I was going to wait that long without peeing on a stick. I told Mark that I would take an HPT the morning of 9dp5dt so that I could prepare myself for the next cycle.

That morning, I peed in a cup but before I dipped the test, I prayed… “Please let me be okay.”… I wanted to prepare myself so that I was not completely crushed by a negative result. Then I dipped the stick… and I saw the test line come up immediately… before I even saw the control line. I was shaking! I’d been pregnant twice before and I’ve never had that happen! I ran into the bedroom to wake Mark up and show him the test… he was definitely excited but neither one of us wanted to get our hopes up since we had been in this situation before.

We took a picture of my test next to the picture of our embryos (sorry for the quality… all of these pictures were taken with my phone):

Over the next few days, I took a few more tests to make sure the lines were getting darker… they were! On the last test that I took, you almost can’t even see the control line!:

Beta #1

2545

Beta #2

Over 5,000 (I didn’t write down the actual number)

Beta #3

They told me not to bother with Beta #3… my first two beta numbers were great!

July 8, 2011 – Ultrasound #1

My first ultrasound was scheduled for 6 weeks, 2 days… the day after I returned from our trip to Milwaukee. I had started having morning sickness a few days before which was reassuring but I was still a total wreck before the ultrasound. It was much worse than transfer day. I was so afraid that they wouldn’t see anything. We had never gotten to this point in either of my previous pregnancies.

Finally the RE and the ultrasound tech came in and the wand went in almost immediately. I couldn’t look at the screen – I was too nervous. I just looked at the RE…. first she said, “Okay, I see two….” I was still holding my breath… and THEN she said, “…and I see two heartbeats!!” I cannot even put into words how I felt at that moment. I started crying and Mark even got a little teary eyed. TWINS! With two heartbeats! Unbelievable! The RE said that they were measuring perfectly and that we should come in for another ultrasound next week.

After our appointment, Mark and I went to breakfast but I don’t think either one of us ate very much. We were in shock! We just couldn’t believe that we had gotten to this point.

Here’s a pic of our twinsies at 6 weeks, 2 days:

Ultrasound #2

7 weeks, 1 day

Ultrasound #3

8 weeks, 0 days

After ultrasound #3, we officially graduated from our RE’s office. It was bittersweet leaving since I adored every single person there but sooo exciting at the same time. I left with my discharge paperwork and a prescription for Zofran (since I couldn’t keep a single thing down for three days straight!).

My first OB appointment was last Friday and it was painfully uneventful. I had to pee in a cup for a pregnancy test… even after I handed them my discharge paperwork from my RE and my ultrasound reports and then they didn’t even do an exam. Ridiculous…. Anyway… I sat down with the doctor and he answered a few of my questions, they took some blood and that was it! It felt like a total waste of time. I’m so glad that I’m going to be seeing a high risk OB in addition to my regular OB. I have an appointment with them next Monday and I’m really looking forward to having an ultrasound!

Tomorrow, I will be 10 weeks… which is crazy to me. We are still very cautiously excited but we are hoping that things continue to go smoothly. I’ve continued to have morning sickness (I still throw up every morning and every evening) but the Zofran is really helping to get me through my work days. I’m not complaining though… I would MUCH rather be sick than not since it’s typically a good sign.

So that’s what has been going on with me! Again, I have been reading and cheering you guys on… but I need to start reading from home a bit more so that I can comment.

Thinking of you all!

It’s Been Long Enough…

It’s time for me to start blogging again. I was really going to take a break during this entire FET cycle, but I really have too many thoughts in my head that I need to get out.

So in random order, here’s what has been going down since my last post:

·         I’m feeling better about the BFN. I talked to my doctor after my beta came back and she said that she was genuinely shocked that it didn’t work. She said that the quality of the embryo that we transferred couldn’t have been better and that my lining was perfect. I told her that I wanted to get started with the frozen embryo transfer cycle right away and that I wanted to transfer them both. She agreed and said that our chances where very good since our frozen blasts are of excellent quality.

·         My birthday was on Mother’s Day (I turned 26)… and it honestly was not a very good day. I told my family and my husband that I did not want any presents and that I did not want to go out to celebrate. All I wanted was for the day to be over. Thankfully, it went by fairly quickly and I felt a lot better the next day.

·         I scheduled an appointment for Mark and I to meet with a counselor. Our first appointment is on Wednesday (the 18^th) and I am really looking forward to it. I’m really hoping that she help us both deal with the stress a little better.

·         I’m taking my last birth control pill tomorrow! It’s also our 3 year wedding anniversary! So it’s exciting. After I take the last pill, I wait to get my period and then I will go in to the RE’s office on Day 2 for an ultrasound. I guess sometime after that I will start the progesterone and estrogen. The one thing I’m just a little nervous about this cycle is that I will be on the PIO shots (I had the suppositories for my fresh cycle) as well as Del Estrogen (also an intra muscular injection) every third day.

·         I’m planning a vacation! Well… sort of a vacation. When we decided to do the Shared Risk program for IVF it was a pretty big decision for us financially. We normally take a big vacation every year and also a few small trips but we decided not to this year in order to help pay for treatments.  We did, however, take a full week off work in July and the thought of not going anywhere made me sad. So Mark said, let’s go to Milwaukee! Which doesn’t sound like much of a vacation but I love it there…especially in the summer! My husband is from there so we are going to visit his family and hang out at Summerfest all week! It’s going to be fun and I’m just glad to be going somewhere!

The other great thing about planning this trip is that it is really taking my mind off of this FET cycle. And for me, I think that’s a really good thing. For my fresh cycle, I was constantly Googling EVERYTHING and worrying myself to death. I feel so much more relaxed this time around. I know that I will be okay no matter what the outcome is. We should find out if it worked or not about two weeks before we leave for Milwaukee. If it worked: “AWESOME! I’m going to have a great time on my vacation!” And if it didn’t work: “That really stinks but I’m STILL going to have a great time in Milwaukee AND I’m going to enjoy some drinks!”

So we will see. I do know that if this FET doesn’t work, I’m going to take a short break before starting another fresh cycle. I know that I will need it and that I will want to just enjoy the summer before getting back in the stirrups. :)

Also, thank you so much to everyone for your comments on my last post. I really appreciated your kind words and understanding as I took a little break from everything. I hope everyone is doing well. I’m going to try to catch up on everyone’s blogs this week. Thinking of you all!

IVF #1 – BFN.

I tested on Saturday – 10dp5dt (or 15 dpo) and it was ridiculously negative. Not even a hint of a second line.

I really thought I was prepared for this… but I wasn’t. I was a total mess. I still am.

The day of the embryo transfer, the RE told us that our embryos looked so good and since I’m young that if we transferred two that we would most certainly end up with twins… so we transferred one. My lining was greater than 15 mm. The ultrasound tech told me that she couldn’t wait to do my OB sonogram. The embryologist kept commenting on how beautiful everything looked. I don’t understand it. I was so sure that it was going to work for us. My birthday falls on Mother’s Day this year and it would have been the perfect time to tell our family. Now, the thought of my birthday makes me literally sick to my stomach.

I told Mark that I think I’m ready to see a therapist. I feel like I’m turning into a total wreck. Everything makes me upset and I cry at the drop of a hat. I hate the person that I’ve become but I feel like I’ve lost control.

My beta is tomorrow. I am 110% positive it will be negative. I stopped my progesterone on Saturday and I got my period yesterday morning. I called my nurse and left her a message this morning and told her that I will be coming in for my beta tomorrow morning but that I want to discuss the protocol for a frozen embryo transfer (we have two embryos frozen) since we want to get started with that process as soon as possible.

In the mean time, I’m going to be taking a break from blogging. I promised my husband that I would take a break during my FET cycle. He thinks that blogging is a great outlet for me but says that he wants me to try and clear my head from everything for just a little while. I agree with him. I need to give my mind a break from all of this and do my best to relax and try to focus on some other things for once. I can’t force myself to be happy… but I know that I can’t continue to live my life like this. I need to take a step back from everything.