A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes…

As much as I day dream about pregnancy and babies, you would think that I would dream about pregnancy and babies at night too…. But I don’t… Well not very often.

I usually have crazy, weird dreams. And they are most always about high school. I went to a very small, private school (which I absolutely LOVED) and I grew up with everyone in my class from Kindergarten to 12^thgrade. We were all very close growing up even though most of us have grown apart since graduation. It seems every time I dream about anything it’s about someone from that time in my life.

But last night was different. I had the most amazingly perfect dream. I had a dream that I was pregnant… pretty early on and that I was getting my first ultrasound. And I saw a beautiful heart beat on the screen. It felt so real! I was by myself at the ultrasound and then I went home to Mark (I don’t know why he wasn’t with me at the ultrasound) and I was trying to describe how beautiful it was…. And then I woke up! I was a little sad that it was just a dream but at the same time… it made me excited. I have been pregnant before but I never got to see a beautiful, beating heart on an ultrasound screen. It’s a moment that I’ve always looked forward to. I can’t imagine what it must feel like.

Cinderella says that a “dream is a wish that your heart makes, when you’re fast asleep.” ….. I just hope this dream/wish comes true soon!!

4 DPO

Based on when the hubby gave me the Ovidrel injection, I would have ovulated sometime very early Sunday morning… which would put me at 4 dpo today. And I am feeling…. COMPLETELY NORMAL. After the Ovidrel shot, my nipples started feeling really, really sore but I know that was from the HCG. It started to go away a few days ago but they are starting to feel pretty sore again – for which I’m blaming the prometrium suppositories (have I mentioned that they are extremely gross??). I’ve also had very mild cramping as of this morning but I’m not really considering that a symptom of anything.

I keep trying to think back to how I felt when I found out I was pregnant the first time…

It was March and I wasn’t thinking about anything during that 2ww except for our first consultation with my RE. We had sex a total of maybe 2 times that month so in my mind, pregnancy wasn’t even a possibility. After we met with the RE, I remember telling Mark that I hoped my period came soon so that I could start my Day 3 testing (I was due for AF about 4 days after our appointment).

2 days after our appointment, I noticed that my breasts were a little sore and they kept getting worse and worse until my period was finally late.

Now, I hate peeing on sticks. I HATE it. I don’t ever do it unless my period is really late because I HATE seeing only one line. But I finally gave in this time because my breasts are NEVER sore. Ever. Not even before my period is due. It was my only symptom until after I got my BFP.

Now I know all pregnancies are different … blah, blah, blah. Plus that pregnancy sadly ended in a miscarriage so I’m not sure I should be comparing any of the symptoms to any subsequent pregnancies. BUT…. if I don’t feel any different next week, then I really don’t want to test until my period is late. I hate seeing a negative HPT more than I hate the arrival of AF.

I know this sounds crazy because many people can’t wait to POAS. Why not me too? This is the first real treatment cycle we have ever done and I should be excited! But today, I’m just not feeling so optimistic about it.

I’m so sorry that this is such a “Debbie Downer” post…. This is just how I’m feeling at the moment. And it feels good to get these feelings out…. Just another reason that I’m glad I started this blog.

Puppy Photo Shoot

Here are some of the pictures from the “Puppy Photo Shoot” we took Sophie and Josie to this weekend…. They had a blast!

Sophie

Josie

Mark and I with the pups! We weren't expecting to be in any of the pictures ... if we would have known we would have dressed a little nicer! :)

 Josie

 Sophie

I love Sophie's face in this picture! She was not too happy.... :)

Happy Tuesday! :)

Busy, BUSY Weekend

Let me just say that I’m glad ovulation happened over the weekend. Because I am exhausted! At first I thought, “Have sex 4 times in 3 days? No problem! We used to have sex 4 times a day when we first got together!” Well folks, that was a long time ago. But I’m not complaining … because it WAS fun… just a little tiring towards the end of the weekend. I think my legs are just glad that they haven’t been up in the air yet today!

I also started my progesterone suppositories this morning. The only thing I have to say about that is, “Thank God for panty liners.” Gross.

I must say that the Ovidrel shot was a piece of cake. Mark gave me the shot at 6:00 on Friday evening and I barely felt it. I have noticed that my nipples are very sore but I’m sure that will go away as the HCG wears off.

The other exciting thing we did this weekend (besides hopefully making a baby!) is we took our dogs to a photo shoot! A photographer that we met through a mutual friend wanted to take pictures of dogs for her website so Sophie and Josie got to be models for the day! I saw a few of the pictures and they turned out really cute… I will post some of them as soon as I get them. All of that picture taking had me daydreaming about maternity and newborn photo shoots….

Anyway…here’s to the beginning of the two week wait…. Let’s hope that it goes by quickly and ends with a BFP!

Trigger Happy….

Yes, it true – My hubby gets to give me the “trigger” shot of Ovidrel tonight!  On CD 14!

Okay, so this morning, I went in bright and early and couldn’t wait to see how my cute little follie was doing. The ultrasound tech inserted the “dildo cam” and she showed it to me right away and said that she would measure it. I was praying the whole time for 20 mm. Then she said, “It’s at 18.5”. So… I asked her what that meant (the RE wasn’t there today) and she said “Well, you’ll more than likely have to come back tomorrow for monitoring because we like to see them at 20 mm, but your nurse will call you back later for more details.”

Ugh. Have I mentioned that I’m not a big fan of waiting around for information like this? Anyway… on to the good part. My nurse, Betsy (I love, love, LOVE her) just called me! She said, “Hey Andrea! You are triggering tonight!” I was like, “I am?? Is that okay? My follicle was only at 18.5!” She said that while they like to see 20 mm or greater, anything over 18 is considered mature. She said that my lining looked absolutely perfect (12.5 mm) and that my estrogen levels were perfect too. My blood work indicated that my LH levels were starting to rise a bit on their own which is another reason we are definitely triggering tonight…. I wondered if this was a possibility because this morning I noticed some (sorry if this is TMI) EWCM for the first time in a long time... I thought about telling Betsy that but I decided to spare her the exciting details.

So…. The hubby and I will be having lots and lots of fun this weekend (just like my friend Lulu and her hubby!!)! Tonight, Saturday, and Sunday… I can’t wait. The progesterone suppositories (which I’ve heard are lots of messy fun) start Monday.

All in all… I’m happy! I just told my hubby to give his boys a good talking to and tell them to be ready to fertilize this beautiful egg!

Now I’m just going to count down the hours until I can leave work (3 more to go!) and start making a baby!!!!

Follicle Report #1

I went into my monitoring appointment today in a really good mood! Even though I was tired from getting up at 4:45 (my RE’s office is 45 minutes away and I had a 7:00 am appointment), I was excited for my ultrasound.

My favorite nurse did my blood work this morning which was great and we had on the same sweater! So now I love her even more.

After my blood work, I went in for my ultrasound with the RE that is normally there in the mornings. She told me that my lining looked great (I forgot to ask for the measurements!) and then she said that she was going to look for some follicles. She started with my right ovary and announced, “Looks like we have 10 under 10”…. I started to panic. What was wrong with my right ovary? Um, hello! I took Clomid this month! We need at least one follie over 10 mm, Righty!

Then we moved over to my left ovary. I love my left ovary. I am left handed and I have always preferred the left side of my body for that reason (just kidding!). I just knew Lefty wouldn’t let me down. Then the RE said, “The left one has 8 under 10”. WHAT?? I almost asked her if she was serious. Finally she announced, “There it is. One follicle is growing nicely. It’s 16 mm.” Immediately, I was like, “Is that normal?” She said that it was definitely normal but that we want it to get as close to 20 mm as possible before triggering. So I have another appointment on Friday morning at 7:00 (same day as your appointment Lulu!) to see if my beautiful follicle is big enough to use my Ovidrel.

So am I still in a good mood? Yes I am! I was really hoping for 2 decent size follicles but I’m very happy with what I have. Now I’m going to go pray that this little follicle continues to grow nice and big so we are ready for our Friday appointment!

PS – I think I read somewhere that eating a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel from Panera helps follicles grow bigger so that’s what I’m doing this morning! (Totally kidding.)

This Better Be a GOOD Sign…

This past Saturday, the hubby and I were planning to do some shopping and then go out to dinner with some friends in the evening. I woke up that morning not feeling the greatest, so we decided to just hang out around the house and make it a movie/Chinese take-out type of day.

Just as I was starting to enjoy my relaxing day, my husband brought in the mail. Now normally, this would not be a huge deal but I saw a package in his arms.

I said – “Yay! The Christmas stocking I ordered for Josie (our new pup) is here!”

Mark – “No… it’s not that.”

Me – “What is it then? I didn’t order anything else.”

Mark – “It’s Similac”

Me – “BABY FORMULA??? Who sent us THAT?”

Mark – “I think it’s a free sample.”

Then, I remembered. Back in March, after I had found out that I was pregnant (I had a miscarriage in April at 6 ½ weeks), I signed up for every pregnancy related website I could find…. So since my due date for that pregnancy is coming up (November 30), I guess that’s why they sent it.

At first, I was super annoyed… I almost just threw it in the trash. But I decided not to… maybe it’s a good sign! I don’t know. I’m not trying to get my hopes up too much, but it would be so nice to get a BFP before my due date for my first pregnancy is here.

We will see…. Tomorrow morning is my monitoring appointment! I hope the Clomid did its job! Not looking forward to getting up at the crack of dawn but hopefully they will have good news for me!