My Ovaries Must Hate Me…

…Because they are refusing to produce a follicle of a respectable size.

Also on today’s agenda…. My husband wants to do IVF.

But let’s start with this morning’s monitoring appointment, shall we?

It sucked. That’s really the only way I can describe it. Mark came with me this morning to the appointment and it was crazy busy. They took me back right away to an ultrasound room and then I guess they forgot about me. Thankfully, Mark came back with me and kept me distracted by making fun of the bruise on my foot and accidentally ripping the giant napkin while putting it over the naked, lower half of my body. Fun, fun times.

Finally my least favorite sonographer (I think that’s the right word for them?) came in to do the ultra sound of doom. It’s not that I don’t like her… it’s just that she is my least favorite because she doesn’t say very much.  Anyway… She started out with some with positive news…she said, “Your lining looks great!”. Okay… good news… let’s move on to my ovaries now please. She looked at them both and said… “You aren’t ready yet… they are still small.” Yup. Once again, I have no follicles over 10 mm. And what’s with this, “You aren’t ready, YET?” Um, lady, I’m on CD 15… do you seriously expect me to believe that one of these follies is going to grow nice and big overnight? Just tell me that I’m not going to ovulate this month, mmmkay??

After my fun and exciting ultrasound, Mark and I headed back into the waiting room for another 25 minutes while we waited for me to get my blood drawn. It wouldn’t have been so bad but I just wanted to get out of there. I feel like I just keep wasting time, gas, and co-pays because my body refuses to cooperate.

Now on to our exciting conversation on the way home…

After we left, Mark and I were both very frustrated. I know that this is only my second cycle at the fertility clinic but I have been off of birth control for over two years now. I am sick of it… Sick of waiting.  Mark feels the same way and tells me all of the time that he hates watching me go through all of this.

 So on the way to work after our appointment (we both work in the same building) he says to me, “Let’s do IVF.” Whoa. I didn’t know if he realized this or not but I’m on the lowest dosage of medication … there are lots more things that we can try before we decide to do the mother of all fertility treatments. He said that he knew all of that but he doesn’t want to wait anymore because he isn’t getting any younger and he knows how hard this has been on me. He promised that he would leave it up to me and that if I wanted to try different med dosages first that he would support my decision.

I hate waiting too. It sucks. And I definitely don’t want to go through cycle after cycle of timed intercourse with ovaries that won’t cooperate. But… I may just need a higher dosage of Clomid. Or Injectables. I just don’t know yet. And I don’t know that I’m ready to move onto IVF when there are some other things that we can try.

So I told him that I’ve decided to give Timed Intercourse a few more tries. Maybe try some higher dosages of meds. But if more than a few cycles pass with no response (or another pregnancy loss) then I won’t hesitate to move onto IVF. I’m tired of waiting and I know my hubby is too. I know that IVF doesn’t guarantee us a pregnancy or even a baby but I think that our chances would be a heck of a lot better.

Anyway…..when my nurse called me this afternoon with the blood workresults, she said that my estrogen only went up a little and that they are expecting that we will need to cancel this cycle (NO KIDDING). BUT… they are making me come in AGAIN on MONDAY for another monitoring appointment (UGH!) to make SURE that I truly am having no response this time to 50 mg of Clomid. If that is indeed the case, they will give me Provera to jump start my period (I’ve never had to take this before but she said it’s to help to move things along a little faster) and then I get to bump up to 100 mg of Clomid.

So, over all, I feel okay about it. I’m NOT happy that for some reason my ovaries decided to be total jerks and not respond this month but I’m excited that we get to try something a little different next time around.

And the best part of it all? No gross progesterone suppositories over my Christmas vacation!